(Versão em português abaixo) Same conversation, same room, completely different experience. Think you know how that last difficult conversation landed? You might not. I recently read through 120 individual reflections from MBA students on the same exercise, and realized those who acted as leaders noticed one set of things. Students who were employees noticed something completely different. And observers often saw the most clearly of all. One observer described watching a mana

(Versão em português abaixo) Smart people often do something predictable in hard conversations – they reach for logic when things get challenging. And it almost always makes things worse. In the work I’ve been exploring in this series, one student described it perfectly. He was acting as a leader, delivering news that a salary increase wasn't possible. His employee pushed back. And pushed back again. "I noticed myself feeling pressured to justify the decision more and more,"

(Versão em português abaixo) You know that moment in a hard conversation, when you feel their emotion rising? What you do next matters. And if you're someone who values empathy and cares about people, your instinct is immediate and powerful: make this better. Now. This January, I watched it play out again and again in a room full of thoughtful leaders. The conversations would start well, with a clear message and good presence. And then, the moment the other person showed frus

(Versão em português abaixo) Nobody taught them this. They discovered it themselves. Across 120 individual reflections on difficult conversations, one observation came up again and again, independently, from students who hadn't compared notes. “We didn't use silence”. Not "we forgot about silence." or "silence wasn't mentioned." But a specific, uncomfortable recognition that moments which needed a pause… were immediately filled. That gaps in the conversation were treated as p

(Versão em português abaixo) I’ve been talking a lot about human skills these days. And I’ve noticed that most people talk about such skills (think resilience, empathy, creativity, collaboration) as traits you either have… or don’t. And I was reminded of a recent WEF report that made the rounds recently (it came out in December, so it may have passed you by between deadlines and last minute Christmas shopping :) so here’s the key takeaway: human-centric skills are not as “du

(Versão em português abaixo) I’m seeing a hidden tax being paid by teams lately: the massive amount of energy diverted away from work, into the exhausting performance of being 'fine.' In the last few weeks I've been coaching a number of teams, and I keep seeing the same thing: high performers, deeply committed, but carrying way too much. Between work pressures, unexpected responsibilities (including promotions!), health scares and just constant change, there's a quiet, exhaus

(Versão em português abaixo) Most teams don’t need a new feedback model. They need a new rhythm for practice. In almost every organisation I work with, HR BPs and leaders tell me the same thing: “We talk about feedback all the time... yet putting it into action remains a gap for many teams.” And when we look closer, the reason is usually quite simple. Feedback often becomes an event, a moment in the calendar. Something the organization has us do, instead of something we want

(Versão em português abaixo) Most people think feedback fails because the other person doesn't know how to listen to it. More often, it fails because the messenger isn’t showing up the way they believe they are. I often ask leaders to place themselves on a simple 2x2, mapping clarity vs skilfulness. So are you clear on the substance of what you want to say? And how skilful are you saying it? It sounds obvious, but the moment people start reflecting, they begin to recognise pa

(Versão em português abaixo) We all say feedback matters. So why does it fail so often? I was recently working with a number of leaders at a large consulting firm, and I asked them: “Is giving developmental feedback important?” Almost everyone overwhelmingly said yes.  Then I asked “Do you feel you give & receive enough of it?” and almost everyone overwhelmingly said... no. I've seen this over and over again, across geographies, businesses, cultures and time. This gap says so

“Sometimes it’s not even what I say (or don’t say). It’s my face!” That’s what a manager recently told me, after receiving feedback from...

Microsoft's latest data says workers get 153 Teams messages daily, are pulled in the moment to 57% of their meetings, and are...

Photo by Hugh Han on Unsplash At a time when hybrid work has become a new reality, paying attention to the task we have at hand or the...